The Perfect Crime

I love crime shows. And crime books. And anything having to do with crime. I have often thought about how to commit the perfect crime. Not because I want to kill someone or anything but just for thinking purposes. Perhaps this would be something I could explore in a thesis.

TT 12/12: What character weaknesses do you have that will be challenged by this thesis project?

My character weaknesses far outnumber my character strengths. One of my bigger weaknesses is anxiety and stress. I stress out which would be detrimental to my thesis project because it would not allow me to clearly think through whatever the obstacle may be. I also worry. I worry a lot. I would worry about if I would be able to finish something or that I may have done it wrong. I constantly second guess myself. Sometimes I become overwhelmed and cannot catch up. This makes me afraid that if I fall behind in my thesis that will never catch up. I'm afraid of failure. I fear that these character strengths will prevent me from being successful in this project.

My character strengths

What character strengths do you have that will help you with this thesis project?

I have grit. I work hard at my school work. This would help me with the thesis project. I do have zest because i like learning new things. Being gritty will help me work through my thesis and any problems I may have. I am trying to match up my character traits with the ones we have chosen for the character project/report and I am sad to say not many seem to match up. I love learning new things though so I am positive that I am zesty! Whenever I learn about a new topic I go all out and try to find out everything I can. Wikipedia is my friend. The links are never ending.

Adrenaline!

I love adrenaline because it is a natural drug that is electrifying. I want to maybe research what it is and how it does it (does that make sense?). I also want to look at adrenaline junkies. Those people who will do anything for the thrill. This was just an idea. I read something about a new sport in Japan involving sky diving. Except it isn't sky diving in the sense that you jump out of a plane with a parachute. Oh no, that would be too easy. They throw their parachute OUT of the plane and then jump after it. They jump out of a plane with no parachute. What a rush, I'm guessing. I hope the rush was worth it.

Here a video of something that I think would provide an adrenaline rush. I can't have the adrenaline rush because mother said, "There aren't enough helmets and kneepads in the world to keep you from killing yourself."

What is the value of a thesis?

What is the value of a thesis? What's meaningful for you?

Honestly, I don't know what the value of a thesis is. Part of the value of a thesis is that it is your own. It's meaningful to me because I get to take an idea and turn it into a thesis that I spend a year-and-a-half on. I want it to mean that I will have accomplished something, whether that is finishing the thesis, graduating with honors, or I don't know what. It is supposed to be something I want to do, but sometimes I feel it is something I am obligated to do because it is one of those things that "smart" (what qualifies as "smart'? book smart? street smart? etc...) students do. I want it to mean something huge to me because I want it to be worth it.

What I want to get out of this

I am not exact sure what I want to get out of this. Right now I am just worried. I am scared about finding the right topic and them getting the research done and them there is the whole writing the thesis thing. It is pretty terrifying. I'm not quite sure what the goal is. One thing that I think I want to get out of it is to be able to know a topic so well that I can spend two years with it and not hate it by the end of it. I want to do it for me. That's what it is supposed to be about.

A good thesis

What are your criteria for a "good" thesis? What defines a "good" thesis?
A good thesis to me is one that I am interested in and can also develop into a full blown thesis. I have to be interested in it and remain interested. I can't be bored with it. If that happens, it won't be a good paper and it all goes down hill. I'm not quite sure how to define a "good" thesis. It'll just feel right when I find it.

What is Reality?

Maybe I could look at different realities? But first, I would have to figure out what reality is. How do you define something that can't be known for sure? Oh dear, I will probably drive myself insane with that one.

Movies and Psychology

I was just thinking about ideas when last week's 'Psych' episode popped into mind. Shawn went undercover at a mental hospital. By the way, I recommend everyone watch this episode, comment if you don't know where to find it, because it is AMAZING. In the episode he quoted the movie 'Girl, Interrupted' and so I immediately looked it up. Then I starting thinking about 'Shutter Island' and comparing the two. Maybe I could do something about how people with enough psychological damage fabricate their own "realities." Just a thought. I enjoy psychology. In 'Girl, Interrupted' Lisa, portrayed by Angelina Jolie (she won an Oscar for this), has rebelled against all treatment while living in a mental hospital and believes that how she is is how she should be. I hope I said that right. In Shutter Island, the main character played by Leonard DeCaprio (I don't know what name to call him because I don't know who the REAL him is), is trapped in his "reality" so he doesn't have to face his psychologists' and his apparent reality. Did that make any sense? I'm not really sure if this makes sense at all.

Robots!

Robots are going to take over the world. They have already started by taking over my life. I now spend one weekend a month at a robotics workshop at LSU with my friends (the cool kids, I know). Then we have to program after school. We are also doing a robotics competition in the spring with the RoboKnights (our creative team name). And just because I could not get enough of this, I am doing engineering computations, which is programming. To be clear, I CANNOT program. I am physically and mentally incapable of doing this. I am totally lost with it. Yet, I keep subjecting myself to this kind of torture by continuing to do it. Right now I am staring at the robot on my kitchen table that WON'T RUN AFTER SIX HOURS OF PROGRAMMING. It is mind boggling. To fix it, we will bring it to Mr. Bowman and surrender to RobotC, the cursed programming language.

On the positive side, because it is consuming my life I am constantly thinking about it and I could maybe develop a thesis off of that.(?) I'm not really sure what it would be on, but it is just a thought...

SOS

I do not understand how this blog thing is supposed to work. Do we follow other people's blogs? Do we become members of others' blogs? How do we do this? I don't know what to do and I am already behind. Could someone please help me?

Not that crazy, paranoid girl...

I have this one idea that I really like but I am pretty sure it will lead to people calling me a paranoid, crazy chick. I don't really want that. It is about conspiracy theories. I am fascinated with them. The sad thing is that I sometimes kind of believe them. This is what makes me shy away from doing this as my thesis because I am afraid I'd get too into it and go psycho. Not a good thing. I like questioning what I am told because it makes me have a little power. I'm not talking everyday stuff such as, "Wash the dishes," because if I question it and don't do it then the dishes pile up and our house is taken over by roaches. I don't want that. I am talking about big things, like the JFK assassination.

I am really into secret societies. It's sad I can never be a Mason. I checked it out, no girls allowed. Maybe I could use my handy dandy secret society book to find another one that could be a focus for my thesis. Just an idea...

Scared

Right now I am feeling pretty scared about this whole thesis thing. I don't want to write and I most definitely do not want to present. I don't know why I put myself through this. The only thoughts in my head about this thesis are fear and panic. This might have to do with me writing this at later than 12:30 a.m. or maybe the truth is finally coming out. I'm not really sure and that scares me.

Better Late Than Never

So I am posting this way late but oh well. To just jump right in I have no ideas. One of the things I am passionate about is being done by someone else and it just wouldn't work out. I don't really have any other ideas and that worries me. \